


my boy

by FandomsArePossesive



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst and Feels, Bisexual Richie Tozier, Cheating, Child Abuse, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hospitalization, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Loneliness, M/M, Overdosing, Reddie, Richie Tozier Swears, Self-Hatred, Slow Build, Songfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-02-27 22:38:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13258071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomsArePossesive/pseuds/FandomsArePossesive
Summary: "My boy's being sus he was shady enough but now he's just a shadow."Eddie is always suspicious of his boyfriend, but hoped he was just being his normal cautious self.Richie is determined to show his lover his past life is buried 10 metres below, but it gets shoved back into his face at the wrong time.All characters have aged up to 17 years old x"You want me to be yours, well then you gotta be mineBut if you want a good girl, then goodbye."





	1. Chapter 1

**Playlist**

_my boy - billie eilish_

_idontwannabeyouanymore - billie eilish_

_chasing cars - snow patrol_

_afraid_ _\- the neighbourhood_

_lurk - the neighbourhood_

_choke - i don't know how but they found me_

_happy pills (ironic lmao) - weathers_

_fools - troye sivan_

_the art of  forgiveness - maria mena_

 


	2. Chapter 2

_" My boy's being sus, he was shady enough_

_But now he's just a shadow. "_

Who would've thought Eddie Kaspbrak, the school's well known germaphobe, would ever be with someone like trashmouth Richie Tozier. But it sure as hell managed to happen and somehow actually worked out pretty well for them both. It went on for a few good months until the unimaginable happened. Before Richie had gotten together with Eddie, he was commonly known as "Fuckboy Tozier", so of course Eddie was always cautious. Always worried he'd find Richie crashing lips with some other girl or guy. Especially since their relationship was so well hidden and swept under the carpet to keep safe. Luckily, his fear never came true. He never saw his sweet, trashmouther of a boyfriend with anyone else. That was until he caught him at the wrong time...

Eddie had been slightly suspicious of Richie recently. He had been avoiding him more often and leaving the loser's more and more. It was concerning, but no one else really took notice. It was nearing their 6 month anniversary and the short brunette was beginning to get fed up with the lacking of his boyfriend. Surely he'd want to spend more time with him around this time, not less? He huffed out angrily and disappeared from the group to go search for his partner. He went to the obvious places, behind the school, toilets, the empty classroom the group tended to use instead of going to the hall. Then he resulted to going to their tree, located on the backfield of the school. It was a beautiful and lush oak tree with their initials messily engraved on the trunk, despite Eddie's protesting against the whole idea complaining that, "It was cheesy". To which Richie replied, "Yeah, but you like it." This was the tree where Richie had confessed, where they had shared their first kiss. It was Eddie's first ever kiss and God did he create a fuss, "Did you clean your mouth?", "Are you sure? I don't want to get ill, Richie!", "Richie! I'm being serious! Oh God did you brush your teeth?!". Of course Richie had chastely cut him off by smashing his plump lips against Eddie's, much to his surprise. Eddie snapped out of memory lane and stomped over to the tree. He was meant to be annoyed not nostalgic!

"Richie? Why don't you just come back? You just left me and you've been ignoring me for months~", a girly voice whined. Eddie couldn't hear a reply and felt like the ground was about to swallow him up. No.. Richie wouldn't do this, would he? He promised. He promised that "his Eddie spaghetti" was the only one for him. No one else. It must be another Richie, surely. He peered cautiously around the tree trunk to see what he dreaded from the beginning. He saw that mess on chocolate brown hair and recognised it immediately without even having to see the glasses that made his eyes somehow increase to a ridiculous size. Richie was letting someone else kiss him. He stifled out a small, hurt whimper, like a hurt dog would, before dashing off across the field, sobbing the whole way back to the school building. He ignored Richie begging the boy to come back, because he was going to feed him filthy lies, upon filthy lies.

The unfortunate thing was, he never got to see Richie shove the girl off him and scream at her. He never got to see the pure hurt and anger in his eyes as he told her to never come near him. He never knew that Richie was saving up for the most romantic date he could give Eddie for their six months, because Eddie Kaspbrak was truly the only person who could set him straight and never make him think of anyone different no matter how beautiful they were. All because to him Eddie was the most charming person he had ever met. All Eddie knew was that Richie had lied and that's all he was going to believe.


	3. Chapter 3

_"My boy loves his friends like I love my split ends and by that I mean  
He cuts em off _

_(What?!)"_

Nobody had ever seen Richie so concerned and honestly scared. The fear in his eyes almost trumped the same fear that had erupted from him, four years ago now. He was going to lose his Eddie because of an idiot of a girl. Hell he might've already lost the boy. Soon enough, everyone except Eddie was worried about the way their lovable trashtalker was acting. In fact, they had noticed the lacking of a short boy beside him and the lacking of him in general. Yet they stayed quiet and just hoped it was just a small argument that Richie had refused to admit he was wrong in, since that had happened before... Just not for this long.

Eddie had been avoiding the group, knowing Richie would try and start getting him back. He wasn't blind nor was he stupid though. He knew what he saw and he wasn't going to forget it no matter how much the curly haired boy begged. He made sure to talk to the other's in any of the lessons he had with them, but completely avoided Richie as a subject and if it was mentioned he got pissed. Whenever he walked past the group, he would fast walk and look away from them. He didn't want to communicate the group if Richie was there, as petty and childish as it sounded, but he could just see that girl. The girl who he fucking kissed.  

"Richie, what's gu-going on with you and Eddie? Yu-You're both acting weird..", Bill was the one who finally spoke up about the issue at hand. He couldn't bare to see the two so distant without at least trying to help. Richie tensed up slightly at the sound of Eddie's name and gulped. He looked at Bill then the rest of the group, who were looking at the boy in concern with a few small nods.

"I messed up so badly, guys. I was sitting at our tree and one of the girls I had fucked around with came over, going on about how I left her alone and whatever. Then she kissed me and Eds showed up. He must've thought I wanted her, but God it was terrible! He ran off crying and I was so fucking angry at her. Guys.. It our 6 month anniversary in two weeks. I can't lose him. I love him..", Richie quickly blinked, to force back any tears threatening to flood from his eyes,  and sighed heavily. He looked at the other five, hoping for some form of guidance. Of course they told him to try and talk to Eddie.

Richie tried his best to get Eddie alone without anything seem odd, knowing how hated the two would be if they were seen together as more as friends. Luckily he managed to find him alone at their tree.

Theirtree. That oak tree that had once brought him the happiest memories he had made and the most sweet boy he had ever met. But now it was going to possibly make him lose that boy. That boy who once never left his side in fear of losing him. The same boy who was now never going to trust or love him again. The boy who once sneaked out of his house to cry about his nightmares, because he could only think of him despite how much he teased him and joked around with him. Even if his mom screamed at him when he returned home the morning after. "Eds?", he said gently and quietly, peering from behind the tree to see the small boy coiled into himself at the stump of the tree. He saw those milky brown eyes glare up at him sharply with tears welling in each one.

"Don't call me that.", the other hissed threateningly. Richie was shocked. Eddie was always the timid one and only acted like this when his germaphobia kicked in or he was truly pissed, but Richie really couldn't blame him for being so angry. "Don't ever call me that, you liar. You fake.", he bit harshly and stood up. Richie stared at him with watering eyes. This was the end of this. This once beautiful thing.

"Eds please.. I'm not lying. I didn't kiss her. I would never kiss anyone but you. Did you not hear me screaming at her? You're the best thing that has happened to me, Eddie Spaghetti.", he attempted to try and crack a smile, but it just formed more tears and a disheartened frown. Eddie's face stayed as stern and emotionless as before. There was no changing what he thought. He could only see a liar and a cheater before him, not an upset and genuine lover.

"You're an ugly crier, but you're such a pretty liar, Richard", he whispered and suddenly left Richie with that circling in his head. He used his name, not Richie, not Trashmouth, not any of their sweet nicknames. He could let him leave not while he thought that he was a lying cheat.

"Eddie! Please!"


	4. Chapter 4

_" My boy's being sus and he don't know how to cuss_

_he just sounds like he's tryna be his father_

_(who are you?) "_

That was clearly the last straw for the short brunette, as he snapped around to snarl at the boy.

"Fuck off, Richard!", he screamed at him bitterly and shoved him harshly, not caring if this hurt him. His mind running wild and now his mouth. "No doubt you learnt this sicking shit from your dad! You're exactly like him!". It all just flowed out. All his anger and sorrow had melted and was now being blurted out at Richie. He hated the boy standing before him and now the boy before him was beginning to show his own hatred.

"What? What the fuck, Eddie?!", he growled, growing a bit defensive over the subject of his dad, due to the fact he neglected him and was just all around a pretty shit man. He shoved Eddie back, almost forgetting how flimsy and fragile the boy was. As expected, Eddie tumbled back slightly and glared sharply at Richie, throwing a punch at his stomach. He was truly riled up at that point, not caring if he was in the wrong for letting his mouth run rampant without thought of Richie's feelings. It all ended in a fight, but thankfully no one was around to urge it on or it wouldn't had been pretty. Fortunately the two only came out of it with a busted lip each and a few bruises scattered all over their bodies. Richie knew there was no way he was getting back with Eddie after this... Especially if Mrs. K finds out.

Thankfully for Richie, Eddie didn't snitch on him to his mom and just told her it was the school bully. The only reason being is that she'd probably cut him off from the rest of the loser's. Of course, she still fussed over him and said the normal "Oh they know how fragile you are!" in an angered tone. He managed to escape her rant to him that morning about how he should spend every minute he could with a teacher, because they'd protect him. An annoyed groan rolled off of his lips as he finally left to go to school. A part of him wished he could miss it and just avoid Richie for the whole day, but he knew his mom would have some kind of fit and do God knows what else. He cycled his way to the school. This is when he'd usually be hopping on the back of Richie's bicycle and trying not to hold on too tightly for it to seem suspicious to bystanders. Then they would meet with the other losers and happily chat. Eddie shook his head and focused on the street in front of him, Richie was an asshole and wasn't worth his thoughts. Although he should see how everyone else was together. He hoped he got to the building before Richie, but after the other's. 

The good news was he managed to get there much before Richie, but the bad news was that he bumped into a Henry Bowers wannabe. He wondered why anyone would want to be like that crazy freak, but he was apparently some sort of idol to some of the weirdos in Derry.  "Where's your friends, girly boy?", he hissed with a grim smirk. Of course Eddie just tried to move past him, not wanting to deal with alone without the other's to help him, but that just seemed to make matters worse. As he was pulled back by his bag and shoved against the lockers causing a pained yelp to leave the small boy. He hoped he'd get lucky today and maybe a teacher would walk past and tear the other off him. But it didn't happen. "Don't you dare run away from me.", he barked and slammed his fist into Eddie's stomach. Eddie coughed and slumped down. He then saw a way out. He scrambled in between the gap between his legs and ran, panting heavily with his face extremely red. He hid before fishing out his inhaler from his fanny pack strapped to his waist and taking a puff from it. This day was not going to end well.

Later on during the day, Eddie's search for the loser's club, minus Richie, had ended in success. The only problem was that when they saw Eddie approaching, Bill turned to the other's and discreetly whispered to them."Hey, guys. How have you been?", Eddie smiled, clearly oblivious to the quick discussion that group had just had. Everyone replied with a few "Good"s. Bill looked at Eddie then the rest of the group, gaining light nods from the other losers.

"Eh-Eddie, we heard about yu-you and Richie. He told us.", he told the small boy, who had a look of slight anger on his face. Eddie shifted and crossed his arms over his chest, staring down at the floor and kicking lightly at a bit of trash. Bill continued, "He told us it was misunderstanding ah-and we believe him. H-He would never do anything like that to hurt you, Eddie. So-"

"No. He's lying. He just a cheat!", Eddie exclaimed and glared at Bill, then at the rest of the group. "I can't believe you all trust him like that! He's just a huge liar! You're all idiots!", he snapped before shoving Bill out the way and running off, finally standing up for himself just standing up to the wrong people. Bill stood there in shock and sighed sadly. 

"You tried, Bill..", the red haired girl reassured him softly and saw Eddie go around a corner and leave her sight. "I'm sure he'll realise soon.."


	5. Chapter 5

_" My boy's an ugly crier_

_but he's such a pretty liar_

_and by that I mean he said he'd "change" "_

 

It seemed like nothing could go well for Eddie that day. He cycled alone from school that evening not wanting to talk to any of his friends. He knew they'd try and convince him to believe Richie's lies. He sighed heavily and chained his bike up before going inside. He just planned on going to his room, doing homework and sleeping. That was it. He wasn't bothered to do anything further. He took a few steps up the stairs, "Eddie.", Sonia said blankly. The brunette returned in a slightly sheepish manner. "Eddie-bear.. I've heard some awful things about you recently from Mrs Tozier. Something about that boy Richie.", she openly cringed at saying the vile boy's name. "She said something about you two..". She paused, noticing the panicked look on her son's face. "Eddie.. You're not a disgusting faggot like him are you? Has he made you ill? I promise there's a way to fix you.", she reassured him with a worried expression. A slightly angered frown appeared on Eddie's face. He knew a large majority of Derry were homophobes, but he couldn't believe his own mom was one.

"What? No, mama it's not an illness. It's just normal.", he said sternly, watching her face contort into one of disappointment and annoyance. "And so what if I am? I'm not going to change.", he spoke proudly and puffed his chest out.

That was his first mistake.

Sonia suddenly snatched his wrist and dragged him along, not caring if she was hurting his previously broken arm. Eddie was panicking. This wasn't the way to the sugar pills or the fake inhalers. It was to the actual pills. "I can't believe you're making me do this to you, Eddie. I wish you would change and be normal like everyone else.", the woman whimpered, tearing up. Eddie let himself be dragged along by the large woman. This was her way of guilt tripping her son and right now it had worked. "Now, come here.", she told him, wiping away tears, and poured a few pills into her palm. There were five pills all of a variety of different colours, drawing Eddie's eyes both in and away from them.

Sonia didn't wait for him to hold his hand out or come over. She grabbed a hand fall of his hair and tilted his head back, shoving all the pills down his throat while pretending to cry. Meanwhile, Eddie hacked and choked on the small circular medicine. Once again, the boy fell for her guilt trip. "I-I'm sorry mama. I promise I'm normal.", he whimpered not wanting to go through that painful experience ever again.

"I want you to take your pills every morning and before you go to bed. I want you to be fixed. You don't want to be a faggot, Eddie.", she said in a sickingly fake caring tone. She just didn't want a queer in her family.

Eddie felt a sinking feeling in his gut as he laid in bed that night. The realisation hitting him like a ton of bricks. He was alone. He couldn't run to Richie's and sob to him about what just happened nor could he go to Bill and sleep round his for the night just feel that little bit more safer. He hated that walls seemed to be closing in on him as he plunged deeper into his thoughts. Then he told himself that he didn't need them he could handle himself, that he would be fine as long as he did what Sonia said and didn't question her authority. He wouldn't let himself seem weak in front of the group.

That was his second mistake

The next morning, he awoke to a cup of water and pills on his bedside cabinet. He groaned and tossed them out the window, drinking the cup of water to make it seem like he had taken them. He searched his wardrobe for the most convincing 'straight' outfit, since his normal shorts and polo gave off the complete opposite vibe to what his mother wanted. The boy tugged out a pale pink turtleneck and dungarees, as well as his discarded fanny pack. He brushed off the dust stuck to it, turning up his nose in disgust as he did so. He hadn't worn a fanny pack since... since he was 13. He shook his head with intents of being rid of those horrible memories that came out of that year. He was soon dressed and went off to school without encountering Sonia, thankfully.

As Eddie entered the building he saw the group. He gripped the straps of his bag and walked quickly past them, hiding from their confused gazes. He just hoped none of them would make this difficult for him since things were already far too difficult. He went off to his lesson, fully aware he was extremely early, but he figured it was easier than trying to make different friends at that point.

"Guys! Something has happened to him. I know he hates me now, but that doesn't mean I don't care about him. He hasn't worn that stupid thing in years.", Richie told the other's. He still loved and cared for Eddie, even if the smaller boy didn't. "I'm worried. My parents found out I'm Bi and God what if one of them told Mrs K. That fucking woman is such a homophobe.", he continued urgently. The other's looked at him and frowned.

"We'll try and talk to him, Richie, but he's ignoring us now. So none of us can promise we'll get anything from him.", Bev told Richie with concern in her tone. The other's nodded softly and sighed. This was going to be difficult.

Lunch rolled around and nobody had gotten anything from Eddie. Only a few scoffs and an eye roll. Richie was worried and angry at Eddie. He shouldn't have cut off the other's just because of him. "I'm going to talk to him", he said firmly and stood up. Despite the protests from Bill and Stan, he left, going on a haunt for hypochondriac. He went out to the tree and sighed heavily when he saw Eddie sitting at the trunk, picking at his food and digging through the fanny pack. Not yet hearing Richie approaching. It felt unnatural seeing him like this. So closed off and actually looking through the little pack for something. He wished he could go back to when he was scoffing and cringing at his jokes. "Eddie.", he said and noticed the boy flinch.

"Richie just go away. I don't want to talk to a liar.", the brunette said harshly back, but Richie ignored this and instead sat beside him.

"I don't care if you think I'm a fake or a liar. I'm worried. You haven't  worn that fucking stupid thing in 4 years. So something has happened and if you don't want my help please let the other's help you.", he almost pleaded, but it didn't keep Eddie there. The boy immediately started to stand and leave, quickly taking a bright red pill dry and rushed off.

That was his third mistake


	6. Chapter 6

_" My boy, my boy, my boy_  
_Don't love me like he promised_ _"_

It had been a long few weeks. Richie was still awaiting for Eddie to return to his normal self, even if he knew it wouldn't happen. He'd never return to the Eddie he wanted back. That realisation hit him when he saw his Eddie holding hands uncomfortably with some girl. Richie had been so sure the boy had been gay, but clearly not. And clearly he had moved on. But he hadn't. It was just fake. He didn't love that girl. He just needed to stop his mom from snatching his wrist and checking his neck roughly for any 'sinful marks'. To stop her shoving those pills down his throat. But he could tell... the girl.. was happy. Maybe she had liked him before. He didn't know and he didn't care. He just wanted to be safe from those harsh glares. It may also had been because he wanted to see Richie's face. Downcast and brokenhearted. Just how he looked when he caught him.

Eddie would adore to relive that evening with his mom. When he walked through the door with the blonde's hand in his own. That smile that split across her face instead of one of disappointment and disgust. He just wanted her to leave him be.

But she had to ruin it.

"Oh thank you! Thank you so much for changing him.", Sonia cooed to the girl, who looked at Eddie in confusion when tried to take her elsewhere. "He used to such a sinful boy, but he's changed now. He used to lock with that vile Tozier boy.", she blabbered on. He suddenly felt the smaller hand drop from his own. He felt panic swirl inside him, before he could look the girl was gone and the door was wide open. He never wanted to relive that night again. That night with double the pills being forced down his throat with so much force that he thought he was going to choke and die. That night where his whole body shook from the pain growing in his stomach and the tears that continuously pouring from his red, swollen, eyes.

The next morning, he stuffed his pills into his fanny pack and another capsule of them, so then his mom wouldn't question him any further about his 'sinful nature'. He only let out a weak "Bye momma.", as he left. He passed through the hallways to his locker only to find "FAG" messily carved into the metal, like it was done with some keys. Who did it? Who? Who? Who? That was all that his thoughts could spit out. He stood in front of the locker, his mouth agape and a dumbfound look on his face. He stared at it and took no notice of the people surrounding him. Even those who were familiar to him. Even those who were sniggering and gagging in disgust.

"Eddie...", someone said gently and held his shoulders. His breathing suddenly sped up and he shoved whoever it was away. It was Mike. The other's looking at him with pity in their eyes.

"Leave me alone!", he screamed at them. It was more like a sob than anything. He sprinted off and shoved past them. An absolute mess. Richie's heartbroke at the sight of Eddie so upset. He turned to follow him but felt someone hold him back.

"Don't Richie. Give him a moment to himself, okay?", Stan said gently and looked back at the locker with a slight grimace. "So are we going to find out who did this and kick their ass or what?", he said to the group, already knowing that's what everyone wanted to do at that point. Eddie may have cut himself off from the group, but he was forever a Loser to them and that wasn't ever going to change.

After hours of actually finding who scratched the hateful word into Eddie's locker, Richie decided he needed to find the boy himself. Maybe now he'd listen to him. He already had an idea on where he'd be. Where he always went to when he was upset. It was pretty place to just cry if no one knew where it was. But thankfully Richie did. He pushed up his bulky glasses and saw the silhouette of a boy lounging in the tree. That was one concern. Eddie never climbed the tree. He was always too scared he'd fall out and break something again. Richie knew that'd mean he wouldn't see Eddie for weeks at the time. He sped up his walking then he saw Eddie wasn't moving at all. His chest wasn't rising and falling at a steady rate. He suddenly clumbered up the tree, frantically pulling Eddie out of it. He fell back, but made sure the boy landed on top on him,  and let out a pained wheeze. "Fuck! Fuck! Eddie!", he panicked and saw inside his fanny pack were a range of pills and capsules from anti depressants to ibuprofen. A few were also in Eddie's small hands. "Oh God! Eddie why?!", Richie cried and immediately picked the smaller and fragile boy up, running into the building.

What was the point? Everyone hated him. Everyone knew now. He was better off dead. He was loveless, friendless. The boy shakily climbed the tree, scraping his knee and wincing quietly. What was the point of him being here? No one would want to be near him. Not even his own mom. He could see her face now. Dread and fear. "Oh God now everyone knows, Eddie! Eddie knows you're so ill! I have to fix you quicker!" Her voice boomed in his head and then the taste of pills melting on his tongue returned with it. He sat in the tree, wishing for it all to be over. Then he realised, there was a way.. He dug through his fanny pack desperately and grabbed a handful of the pills, forcing them down his own throat dry. Now it would be over. No more regrets, or disappointing people,  or being there like a ghost that clearly didn't belong. He felt weak and a burning feeling in his gut. They were working. Quickly. He laid back against a branch, extending from the trunk of his tree. Their tree. His mind went to Richie, imagining his face. One of sadness and distress, pleading for him to breath and cough it up. Pleading for him to listen and come back so he could feel his love one more even if it was real.

But it was. It was and it was too fucking late for him to reply.


	7. Chapter 7

_"My boy, my boy, my boy_   
_He ain't a man and sure as hell ain't honest."_

 

They stood there under that beautiful oak tree. One shifting and the other looking at him in confusion. "Richie is there a reason you suddenly decided to bring me here? I mean I love having one on ones with you but I need to get home or my mom is going to stress her hair out, before it even gets the chance to turn grey.", the smaller boy stated to Richie as he held onto the straps of his bag. Richie had continued to shift nervously and before long finally lifted his gaze from his dirty, muddy shoes to look at the boy before him. Eddie could tell something was different with the groups trashmouth . Normally he would be talking non-stop, but he was silent and it was extremely  unnerving and honestly concerning.

"Okay Eds.. I really don't want you to freak out, but I like you a lot. I want to be with you every second of my day. I want to hold you close and kiss you.. And God your freckles, I could literally sit there for hours and count them one by one. Or your hair and how much I want to be the one who gets the honour of finding my hands in it when we're together", the trashmouth finally admitted, almost rambling about how much he liked him and how much he loved everything about him . Meanwhile Eddie stood still before tackling him into a tight embrace.

"Thank you for saying something..", he smiled and sighed happily. He had liked Richie for far too long that it had started eating at him. "I like you a lot too.", he confessed with a light chuckle.

....  
Whoever was on him seriously needed to back up, he just wanted to sleep and not wake up, like is that so difficult to comprehend. Seriously... Then he realised it. That he wasn't dead nor was he in a comatosed state, just awaiting for the day to come where he'd finally just leave the world. And whoever was on him better get ready for a slap because he was supposedly dying and someone had the nerve to just lay on him! Eddie slowly opened his eyes, flinching slightly as the light shone brightly into his eyes. It took him ti adjust to the white walls, bright lights. Hospital. God did his mom bring him here.. he hoped not or she would definitely flip. His vision was blurry as his eyes searched for the mystery person. A mess of dark brown hair was resting on his thighs and a pair of chunky glasses laid discarded next to them, tear stains speckled across the lenses. He knew exactly who that was but why did he come here? More to the point, who even brought him here? "Eddie?", a small, croaky voice filled the , otherwise, silent room. That's when Eddie saw it. Richie's red, sore eyes. He had been crying for quite some time by the looks of things.

"What are you doing here? Who even brought me here?", he asked the other, as he began to sit up. What he wasn't expecting was the tight hug Richie enveloped him in. He just cried hysterically onto his shoulder, clinging tightly to him with a relieved smile slithering onto his face. Eddie sat still before slowly and unsurely hugging him back, sighing heavily.

"Fuck. Please never do that again. I-I thought you were dead so I had to bring you here.", the taller boy told him and rubbed his eyes frantically. "I was terrified. I don't want to lose you Eddie. I never want to lose you. I'd miss you too much and fuck knows what would happen to the others..", he continued and cautiously let go of him in fear of accidentally hurting the other

Eddie felt his heart ache at the sight of Richie so ditressed... over him. He cared. He didn't want to lose him. It was all hitting him all of a sudden at full force. Richie loved him. Maybe he was in the wrong this whole time. Maybe Richie was being truthful about the girl coming onto him and not the other way around. He stayed still and looked at the other. He suddenly grabbed his cheeks and smashed his lips into the other's. He kissed him deeply and leaned into his sweet lips. Richie stared at him in shock before finally kissing him back sweetly. Both of them had definitely missed this. This love, this need.

Then he felt it. A damp feeling on his stomach. Confusion flooding his mind as Richie drew away from his lips. What was happening? Where was he going? Richie stood back and walked away, leaving the boy alone in his hospital bed. Eddie tried to call the boy back, desperate for him to return, but his voice fell short and quiet. Nothing but desperate pants left his lips. The dampness only grew worse and soon he felt something heavy on him. Was it Richie again? Was this all a dream? But that wasn't Richie. He had felt his head on his stomach many times. When they had fell asleep under their tree on a hot summer day or when he was round Bill's on movie night and Richie had stayed up the night before studying till 5 in the morning. He missed those times. The times when Richie looked his most vulnerable and at peace with the world. With a light genuine smile upon his lips as his hair would flop onto his features.

At that moment, his eyes snapped open for the second time. Or at least that's what he believed.  He didn't see a mop of messy brown hair, nor a pair of ridiculously chunky glasses even if he wished he did. No he saw light brown curls, nothing like the boy's he imagined there. "Eddie?", a broken voice managed to impale his thoughts. He knew who it was. It wasn't any of the losers, nor was it anyone he wanted there. "Eddie-bear..", a sob wracked through her body as he was pulled into a bone crushing hug.

"Mama..."


	8. Chapter 8

_"My boy, my boy, my friends, I love my split ends_   
_(Alright dude, go trip over a knife)"_

 

There she stood, the woman who caused all of this. The woman who caused Eddie to be stuck in this hospital bed just because she thought there was 'something wrong' with her oh so precious son. Eddie just wished he could be back in his dream and stay there forever. He didn't care if it meant he would never wake up again, just as long as Richie was there. "Richie... Wait. Where's Richie?" He whispered in confusion, his voice slight hoarse and croaky. His eyes darted around, looking for the boy, and his cheeks were slight flushed. Where had Richie gone?

"He's gone now, sweetheart. You don't have to ever worry again about being infected by that disgusting boy.", Sonia said tenderly in a sweet tone, believing she was protecting her little boy from that Tozier boy and his absolutely revolting homosexual illness. "He won't be coming anywhere near you with me around, I promise." She expected her son to show her gratitude and thankfulness for protecting him and keeping him safe. Instead she received pure anger and upset from him. He suddenly sat up and glared daggers at her.  
"You idiot! I love him! I hate you!", he screamed at her with pure fury. He started writhing relentlessly, ignoring the sharp tugs of the cannula held into his hand. "I hate you!", he screamed once more before breaking into cries as the cannula's needle started to dislodge itself from his vein and make its way out of his hand. The bed began jutting around from the amount of movement coming from Eddie's angered body, causing Sonia to be snapped out of her shocked state and stab her finger into the button on the wall, immediately alerting the nurses and doctors of what was currently happening. A nurse soon arrived and rushed over to the boy.  
"Mr Kaspbrak, please calm down.", he warned with a firm but soft voice. "You're hurting yourself doing this.", he said, waiting for the younger male to calm down before readjusting the cannula. Eddie still curled away from the nurse, having enough of them always poking and prodding at him by his mom's commands to do so.  
"Please let Richie come. Please... Richie Tozier. I need him.", he pleaded with the man, whose eyes held pity for the other, and hoped he'd let him see him even if it was only for a moment. The man sighed when the doctor arrived in the room, Eddie repeated the same thing only ten times more desperate.  
"Mr Kaspbrak, we can't let you go yet. We'll let you out once we know the pills and their side effects are completely out of your system. We'll see what we can do about Mr Tozier.", she informed him. Just as Eddie started to calm down, the doctor plunged a needle into his arm, injecting a harmless anaesthesia into his system. She knew the next few hours would be painful for him with the pills symptoms running wild. "Now, Sonia, could you please come with me? We need to talk."

Richie stood over Eddie, tears flooding furiously from his dark eyes. His whole form trembled and his breathing wavered at the thought of the other being dead. He could be. He could be dead and it'd be his fault. Who else could be to blamed? His own past stupid mistakes caused his Eddie to think he was cheating. His own idiotic choices. "I'm so sorry... This was all my fault. I'm sorry. I should have never put you through this. I should have never been so fucking stupid.", he choked up, his breath caught up with his words in his throat. He swallowed thickly and intertwined his fingers with Eddie's limp, unmoving ones. He looked over the boy he loved. He wished he could see a smile grow on the boy's face, or hear one of his snappy remarks to one of his own inappropriate jokes or teases towards him. Or those beautiful brown eyes, which once held that fury that Richie could always find himself lost in, no matter what was happening. The fury that was now held captive by Eddie's unmoving eyelids. Hell, he'd do anything to see Eddie's ski look healthy and tanned, instead sickingly pale, even paler than his own. He wanted to let his goofy, happy-go-lucky persona drop forever, knowing Eddie was the only one who loved it even in the worst of situations, even more than Bev loved it. He paused a moment, hearing loud, speedy footsteps approaching the room, or hopefully to a room further down. He chose to ignore it, wanting to cherish the last moments he had to mourn over his possibly dead boyfriend. He carefully ran his nimble fingers Eddie's knuckles, "I promise, if you wake up I promise everything will be so much better than before... I'll treat you like a little king, Eds.", he smiled weakly. He knew Eddie would've immediately snapped back with, 'I'm not little and stop calling me Eds!' He sniffled and sighed. Suddenly the door slammed open and a large woman came storming in.  
"Get out! Get away from him! You disgusting boy!", she yelled, pure anger and fire in her eyes. Richie suddenly jumped away from Eddie's form, not realising who was yelling so furiously at hm. His stance suddenly changed when he saw who it was.   
"You! You're the one who did this to him! You evil, cruel bitch!", he shrieked at her. Sonia Kaspbrak. He knew it was her who gave Eddie the pills. It was always her, who tricked Eddie into think he had all sorts of illnesses and diseases. God, he had never hated her as much as he did right now. "He could be dead because of you! He took those stupid fucking pills because of you!", he screamed, wiping his eyes ad clearing them of any more tears. His face was now red with pure anger and hatred toward the woman before him. Soon enough the confrontation had gotten out of control, the doctors were alerted of the situation and was forced to tear Richie away, since he was much easier to get out and wasn't part of the family. The last thing he managed to say before being dragged out was;  
"I love you, Eds!"

Eddie winced in pain as he eyes slowly opened and a headache started to clear from his head. Though his stomach felt like it was literally on fire and he felt like he was about to vomit. He assumed it was one of the many side effects or symptoms of the pills. He steadily sat up and glanced around. His eyes stuck to the back of the person's head who was currently sitting at the end of his bed. Their hair was a complete mess, and was the slightest bit greasy, but Eddie knew who it was by a quick glance. His heart pounded in his chest as he stared...  
"Richie?"


End file.
